Birthday wishlist ;)

Thanks…
Thank you… 
Same to you(!!)..
Ya right..
Come on you already wished me…
Today’s my birthday. And I think you should probably wish me?

Rest assured those are the things I’ll be saying a lot tomorrow. And ofcourse it’ll be lovely to hear ppl wishing me. According to me, your birthday is the one day where you get to play the celebrity. Except those who are already a full time celebrity! Right so, ppl have been asking me “wtf do I get you for your b’day”.  To make the task of all those ppl easier, I present to you my LIST. Now my LIST is definitely not a birthday wishlist even though the title might make you think so. It is just a LIST of things that I need at this point of time. And it’s c-e-r-t-a-i-n-l-y-n-o-t-e-x-h-a-u-s-t-i-v-e. 

• 12-month subscription of a mag such as The Week/Reader’s Digest
• A 2GB SD Card for my phone
• Completely explain to me the TCP/IP protocol stack(and implementation)
• A small bedside alarm clock with light to see the time @ night
• Let me drive your car

Ramji

A memorable visit to the Cancer Institute

It was a desolate place. Filled with disease and sorrow, you could feel that chill descend on you. It almost engulfs your mind. But it had an added effect on me. An almost surreal happiness. It was then that it dawned on me how lucky I am – a healthy body and a functioning mind. No diseases. No need to go to hospitals often. No scans no tests no therapy. Atleast not yet! No it’s not funny and this is not a funny post so if you’re looking for one you might as well leave now. And yes, I am talking about the Cancer Institute here in Chennai. Yet for all the distressing things that I have mentioned, it is the place which is the hope for many people here. For some it’s their last hope to life. For most it’s their only hope. If you want one disease which has been most talked about – from street talk to movie satire – it’s cancer. Its much vaunted status stems from the long struggle it took to find the cure for this disease. Now that we finally have some medicines for it, it has changed from a quest to find the cure to a quest to finding the money to buy them. Many people for quite obvious reasons struggle to come to terms with the fact that they have cancer. Its ways and means of penetrating a body are versatile that sometimes one doesn’t know how he happened to get it in the first place. Overcoming this mental trauma is just the first part as one of my own family found out. Its such an expensive disease to treat that even the simplest therapies could cost you your life’s savings. 

And cost, it does. Even if the Cancer Institute does provide free treatment the medicines could cost you a lot. But still its probably one-tenth of what the private hospitals charge. So, there I went, to see him. It happened by chance. My only task was to pick up my mom once she had completed her visit there. She was there to see one of my family who has had a sudden unexpected attack of Throat Cancer. Read that as unexpected discovery because the disease had been there for about 3 years. Ultimately it’s when you don’t give much importance to your own body these things happen. So, coming back, I just had to pick up my mom. Simple job. Oh what a coward I would have been if I had done only that! What I felt there is unspeakable in terms of words, and “un-typeable” in this blog. An experience of a life-time. The entrance has a temple – a place of hope. But one look at the persons sitting lost there, you realize they have very little hope if any. I move on.

I went inside the block where he was admitted. Again it was a bit of shock. I ashamedly admit that I haven’t gone to a Government Hospital before. So having got used to those cosy private hospitals with their clean tiled floors and air conditioned rooms, this was a place which was down to earth to put it exactly. It had simple things with simple people around. There was even a small B/W Tv to watch for the persons staying with the patients. Yes it wasn’t sparkling clean but it surely wasn’t dirty. It didn’t smell of those sick-sweet hospital fragrances but it didn’t stink either. There weren’t any air conditioners nor would anyone demand for that here. For if they could afford that, they wouldn’t be here in the first place. I realized it wasn’t a place of clinical efficiency which guarantees you absolute certainty of recovery. It was rather a place of survival. A place where they use the Government funds to provide the patients with a bare minimum- medicine, food a comforting bed and most of all a way back to their lives. People here fight to survive. There are no easy ways here. No so called “pain-killers.” It’s you and the disease and you fight it albeit with some help from the medicines. 

I could see that when I saw him. He was a broken man. He had gone through a lot in his whole life and now this. The last 3 months had been hell for him I guess. If I probably hadn’t gone there and seen him today, I would never have forgiven myself. His happiness on seeing me shone in his face. And I got that kind of feeling that even if my life ends now, I had probably done something worthwhile with it. He was in pain and couldn’t talk. His throat was in stitches. He couldn’t stop his tears as they came. His sheer despondency was obvious. He was probably wishing he could run away from all this and start a new life. I stayed for a while and talked some strength into him hopefully. What more can I do? I’m not God. Who knows he might be sleeping soundly right now because of my visit, the thought of which makes me sleep ever so sound. 

I don’t know why I wrote this in my blog. I had to get it out. It was such an experience that I don’t want it to fade away in time from my memory. I want it to remain here forever in this blog and it will. It’s a happy life that most of us reading this blog enjoy in so many ways. A very lucky life removed from all the possible suffering that may befall us. May we appreciate it and cherish it forever!!

Ramji

In Memoriam to the teenage ME!

It was around this time last year when I first put hand-to-keys to my first ever serious blog. The blog was titled “My B’day Bash” (and i believe its still hanging around in this site!) So just as I am at the threshold of yet another birthday, I start to write the few words that defines the birthday for me. For me it is, undoubtedly, the most special day of the year currently- ranked above May 5th ,October 21st and December 25th(not for Christmas!) in the current rankings. That’s simply because it’s a day made for me. The one day where I am the celebrity; I hog the limelight. I am the guy people want to meet, the guy people want to wish and shake hands with. And by people not just “any people,” these are people whom I love and respect and identify with. Like I said you don’t get to be a celebrity everyday so isn’t it special?

To all those people whom I mentioned before, I swear I am as eager to shake your hands as you all do. I feel as much happiness as you do. And each and every wish – both told and untold- makes me immensely happy.

…..Article will be completed soon…..

Where are the Google blogs in Google?

Hi fellas,

Now that you have reached this page and this line, you would probably know you are in a WordPress blog. Had everything gone normally in my blogging life, this would have been a Blogger blog. Yeah that would be www.shadowspeak.blogspot.com. But i switched over to WordPress for a simple problem. My blogs in Blogger were just not getting listed in Google search. Even if i search the exact words i had blogged about, I still didn’t get the results in Google search. That was highly disappointing. The reason you,me or anyone would blog is for others to read our blogs, find it useful and start a discussion. But whats the purpose if your blog is not connected with people who are searching for something like your blog?

WordPress is just awesome in that respect. The moment i post something it gets listed in Google and so many other search engines in less than 24 hours. Great! Just what a blogger needs! I had one of my friends complaining to me about the same problem yesterday. he had posted a couple of dicey topics hoping to start off some hot discussion, but with no responses its understandable he’s a bit pissed off. After all if you are using Blogger, you are using Google’s blog and still you don’t get listed in Google search. Not funny MountainView!

And today I just found out why! Its because Google thinks that blogs are special. So special infact that they require a entirely different Search engine! Check out Google Blog Search A stroke of genius you say? I say No. Come on i don’t expect a majority people to search separately for blogs and websites. The difference has clearly been blurred in recent times with all the supposed news websites, changing into something like a blog. So suit up Google. Because for an ordinary user not really bothered about ads and other stuff and focussing mainly on the content of what he writes, Blogspot has become a major letdown. In that way WordPress really has a knack of not only getting listed in Google but also high up too.

P.S. Hope someone from the Blogger team reads this!

Links!
1. Blogspot.com
2. WordPress.org
3. Google search
4. Google Blog Search

As always
Ramji

The Broadband Blame Game

Its January. Half a month past. And the rest of the month is gonna be an absolute drudgery. Im worried. Im really worried to be honest. Im using this BSNL broadband plan500 which lets me use 2.5GB per month. It is quite a lot i agree but suddenly i wake up on the 15th and find just 400MB remaining in my account. Granted, I do use a lot of Bandwidth for voice chat and use the rest of it for browsing. But still this much of usage just midway through the month is simply unacceptable. Still you can’t just blame the company. Its got a decent record and its website shows exactly the times i have used it. Well im really shocked to be faced with this. But then shock is no reason to be irrational. Oh no…

I know a lot of people using broadband out there in India face the same problems. It essentially arises because its a new concept that has come in and taken us all by storm by its sheer power and addictive nature. When people here go out and get a broadband connection here they don’t know what a 1GB per month usage equates to in actual use. Its one of the old tricks by the companies. Tell the people about something they don’t know. They end up thinking its something sophisticated not realizing its nothing but a marketing gimmick to fool them. Well i am one of them who knows what it means but still my usage keeps shooting up every month. Yet I don’t think i use more and more. The best option for me is to live with the present and plan for the future.

From next month i guess i gotta keep some stringent measures to check if there is any flaw in BSNL’s billing system. Another option may be because there is a problem with my own PC. So im make my long intended switch to the Opera browser. It actually shows you the amount of data being downloaded in the taskbar which is exactly what I need. But so far as this month goes i’m just hoping i got college every single day. Because simply sitting at home not able to use the Net is something that’s sure to test my nerves.

Indy day knocking!

Whew im bak. That in itself is a massive understatement considering the amount of contempt i have towards blogging(much of it stems from the fact that i dunno if anyone’s ever gonna read my blog). But then im back for an entirely new reason which is as u should have guessed by now is totally under the mat(secret!!) All i can say is that im just too embarassed by the utter selfishness of the reason that im not willing to open up!

Right then frankly speaking i don’t have anything much to talk about here. So why not cook it up about our independence day.(Yeah writing about a topic… that definitely is part of my selfish plans!!) You see right from when i was that little-whos-this-stupid-guy I have always wondered about the pronunciation of this word independence. its actually in-dependence rather than inde-pendence. Hope u got that guys. Just tell it out man in-dependence… gives u a whole new feeling about what the day actually means doesn’t it! For me the day is often entwined with customs and rituals almost similar toa religious festival. Whew! What a boring way to celebrate indy day. i think what we really need is a kind of way to market indy day to indians. Market in the sense make it exciting. Make people really get the feel of what indy day actually is about. I see these stuff on ndtv… little old clips which savour the actual moment of in-dependence and the things which followed it. Awesome footage i tell u… It just makes my nerve tingle with a spirit that only a bit of patriotism can give. Amazing! Why didnt they show me those stuff when i was in school.(Ofcourse i wudnt hear a word of it nor wud anyone else if they put it up in colleges now). I still remember indy days in school atleast for me was all about chocolates.. (Yummy!) They used to give more than 5 chocies!! And then they put up plays about freedom fighters in which everyone was so engrossed in laughing at the slightest mistakes that their friends were doing in the play that they forgot they were actually laughing at a gandhi or nehru!! Now it doesnt give u a great impression of gandhi or nehru when u get to laugh at them! Maybe im over exaggerating and the school did give me a pinch of patriotism but most of it i wud say is self imbibed or self imposed. Much of it stems from the students themselves who want to be patriotic.

I dont actually how the so called “NRIs” celebrate indy day. Its probably more special to them because this day gives them a chance to get together and unite as indians in a foreign land. But let me address some of those cynics who say india would have been much better off under english rule. Ofcourse these are truly comments of those people who dont have any idea what being “dependent” means. I ask them would you say ok if u were forced to buy only brand of any item rather than according to your wish? Would u like if u were not allowed to buy cars and bikes because that were meant only for a certain class of people with white skin? In modern term that sounds silly. But pre 1947 that was very much the reality. And the fact that indian in-dependence paved the way for freedom in many other countries is something we all should be proud of. Funny when people celebrate our in-dependence as a momentous event in their struggle for fredom why shouldnt we celebrate it as an even bigger event.

My personal opinion about indy day is that its a low key affair simply because it is made and portrayed to be so. Its the same reason why a new year or a world cup final(be it any sport) is celebrated with a different fervour. What we need is we need a dose of “marketing”. There have been many people speaking out that the onus is one the govt to do so but thats almost irrelevant now. It simply wont work i tell u. I feel the onus is on the media. Channels like ndtv are doing a reasonable job but i think certain other regional channels could actually make indy day a much bigger event than just a day for putting new films or putting patriotic programmes which simply DONT inspire.

Ram

My Birthday Bash!!

Well as we kick off its that time of the year again. Rocking new clothes, fancy pricy treats! Hang-outs! Fun frolic, gifts and everything that goes along with a birthday. So sometimes i do wonder wats so special about these birthdays. I mean they come and go once a year(agreed they come n go ONLY once a year but still…!!) U see there are sayings which float around which say “Why do u need to celebrate a day which only makes u older by anothr year?!” A good point indeed but im not some middle age sober looking family man who’s worried about the size of his tummy!! come on… Im a teenager in every sense of the word. N probably thats probably the only thing im a bit worried about! I turn 19 day after tomm taking me closer to the 20’s. Well if i thought childhood was fun teenages were great… Now that means the 20’s can only be awesome(Now now does my dirty brain of mine thnk like this because ppl usually get married in their 20’s… naa.. i dont thnk im that bad am i… who knowsssss

Well i’l cut the crap and jump into the main thing. Firstly i asked whats so special about my birthday. Well thats simple isnt it… Its MEEEEEEEE!! Thats the only policy i have with regard to birthdays. Ya im a poor humble fellow but i do feel so special u know. That day wen i wake up. I feel so fresh n im just waiting to celebrate every moment of it. Hmmm a really sweet feeling. Its like a day which has been made just for me. A day even for this poor fellow to celebrate life. And birthdays are times when i make it a point to remember all those people who have made a difference to my lives for all these years. The list is ofcourse long but each n every person in it is so special for me.

Now coming to b’day wishes. Actually though it is really sweet when someone wishes me for my b’day i dont get hurt when someone actually forgets it(OFcourse my b’day is special only to me. For others its just another day in the office i guess) Bcoz…er…im not too good in remembering b’days either. Infact im dreadful in that(That in itself is an understatement!) But i do try my best to remember and wish the people i know on their b’days. At the end of the day i feel b’days are all about special things. Gifts which say how special i am… Treats which are meant to convey to my frends how special they are to me. The day itself which says how special life is to us all….

Ram